Akasuna no Sasori ([info]somes_auditus) wrote,
@ 2008-04-30 12:08:00
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Current mood: confused
Entry tags:confused, far ilubb rly, far iz dangerous boy, farfarello, grabbing the bull by the horns, haaaalp!!, obsessing is totally in right now, puppets, response: claire, response: farfarello, response: wrath, wtf far?, zack

081 + I could be cold, I could be ruthless. You know I could be just like you
.... Damn it.

...Damn it...



...

[Private]
I don't like this. Not knowing what to do. Not knowing what to say. I hate this.

It's times like this that remind me just exactly why I carved out my heart.

If you can't feel human emotions, you aren't obligated to feel like you have to make things better. Therefor, you don't struggle for the right words. Therefor, you don't get frustrated when someone you care about goes back into his unhappy mindplace. Zack is easy; hug and pat on the back, maybe chocolate, and a doll. I was trained to assist men. This is infinitely harder.

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[info]regenerable
2008-04-30 04:18 pm UTC (link)
What's going on?

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[info]somes_auditus
2008-04-30 05:24 pm UTC (link)
It's personal.

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[info]regenerable
2008-04-30 05:45 pm UTC (link)
I hope you manage to get things sorted out, then.

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[info]somes_auditus
2008-04-30 06:02 pm UTC (link)
Thank god. If that didn't get rid of you, I don't know what would.

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[info]bitter_wrath
2008-04-30 07:43 pm UTC (link)
Is he a bad person, Claire?

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[info]somes_auditus
2008-04-30 07:44 pm UTC (link)
Can you not discuss this in my journal?

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[info]bitter_wrath
2008-04-30 07:45 pm UTC (link)
I don't think I was really talking to you.

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[info]somes_auditus
2008-04-30 07:47 pm UTC (link)
I think it was on my journal, so I'm at liberty to comment if I so please.

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[info]bitter_wrath
2008-04-30 07:48 pm UTC (link)
It isn't like you can really stop me.

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[info]somes_auditus
2008-04-30 07:49 pm UTC (link)
I can.

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[info]bitter_wrath
2008-04-30 07:52 pm UTC (link)
I would like to see you try.

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[info]somes_auditus
2008-04-30 07:53 pm UTC (link)
What's this I see here? It seems to be a journal option. It says... "Block User? Yes/No?"

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[info]bitter_wrath
2008-04-30 07:59 pm UTC (link)
Then go ahead and do it. That doesn't really do anything other than keep you from seeing what I write. I can talk to my Claire anywhere I want to and there isn't a thing you could do to stop me.

So go ahead and block me. It isn't as if that makes you any more imposing.

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[info]somes_auditus
2008-04-30 08:00 pm UTC (link)
Your Claire, is it?

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[info]bitter_wrath
2008-04-30 08:01 pm UTC (link)
That's right. She's my Claire. She's helping me after all, and I'm living with her. She's almost like another mommy.

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[info]somes_auditus
2008-04-30 08:02 pm UTC (link)
Is that so?

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[info]bitter_wrath
2008-04-30 08:05 pm UTC (link)
Jealous are we?

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[info]somes_auditus
2008-04-30 08:06 pm UTC (link)
If I were, I would simply tell her. There's nothing I wouldn't say to her face... both of them.

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[info]bitter_wrath
2008-04-30 08:12 pm UTC (link)
Right right, I'm sure you would.

You should be glad she isn't being burdened with your problems anymore. She's moved on.

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[info]somes_auditus
2008-04-30 08:14 pm UTC (link)
And I'm so glad.

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[info]bitter_wrath
2008-04-30 08:26 pm UTC (link)
Don't tell me you cared for her!

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[info]somes_auditus
2008-04-30 08:27 pm UTC (link)
Not once.

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[info]regenerable
2008-04-30 09:00 pm UTC (link)
Ha-ha. Very witty.

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[info]somes_auditus
2008-04-30 09:01 pm UTC (link)
Is something amis?

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[info]regenerable
2008-04-30 09:05 pm UTC (link)
Oh, I just find something you said to be amusing, that's all.

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[info]somes_auditus
2008-04-30 09:06 pm UTC (link)
Very odd.

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[info]regenerable
2008-04-30 08:59 pm UTC (link)
No, he's not a bad person, Wrath.

Let's go out today, though. Okay?

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[info]edgedsanity
2008-04-30 06:54 pm UTC (link)
This is pain. This is what real pain is. Not knowing. Not doing. Which is worse?

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[info]somes_auditus
2008-04-30 07:11 pm UTC (link)
Not knowing. I would rather not know pain. Pain is a wound to the soul. How long until the soul is gone?

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[info]edgedsanity
2008-04-30 07:17 pm UTC (link)
To not know is to not live. All wounds heal, scare over, and remake.

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[info]somes_auditus
2008-04-30 07:19 pm UTC (link)
I didn't want to live. I just wanted to exist. Why do we call ourselves alive? So that we can feel pain? No. If that's true, I call it unfair.

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[info]edgedsanity
2008-04-30 07:23 pm UTC (link)
There is no plesure in existing. There is nothing but waste. Living is to accept all sides, the pain and the pleasure.

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[info]somes_auditus
2008-04-30 07:26 pm UTC (link)
I have experienced enough pain in my life not to want to feel it anymore. That's the long and short of it. I won't go back to that place... but I miss it. I miss not caring.

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[info]edgedsanity
2008-04-30 07:31 pm UTC (link)
Not caring is the same of being nothing.

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[info]somes_auditus
2008-04-30 07:32 pm UTC (link)
I was not nothing; I was art, perfect. I care now, so I am something. I care that you're upset, so I am something.

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[info]edgedsanity
2008-05-02 07:06 am UTC (link)
There is no perfection. Only shared hearts.

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[info]somes_auditus
2008-05-02 12:57 pm UTC (link)
We agree... yet disagree, there. Perhaps my puppet body was not entirely perfect - I still got killed - but, to me, it was perfect at the time.

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