somes_auditus: 052+Blood's on my face and my hands, and I don't know why I'm not afraid...

Akasuna no Sasori (

somes_auditus) wrote,
@ 2008-03-07 17:21:00

Current mood:	apathetic
Current music:	"People=Shit", Slipknot
Entry tags:	anti-psychotic, bracelet, changes, emo sasori is emo, fear, friends, i wuv my bracelet, kuronue, lin, miwako, people change, people=shit, response: lin, response: miwako, response: zack, sandaime, sasori hates change, sasori is sad, schuldig, shu, suzaku, wesker, zack

052+Blood's on my face and my hands, and I don't know why I'm not afraid...

Private: Self

Everything's been changing... Changing, changing, changing. Nothing's the same. This bracelet... I'm glad I have it on now. If I didn't, I'd be going mad right now. It's interesting to see the difference.

People are leaving, detaching, suffocating... changing.

How very terrifying... and intoxicating.

I want to protect you... I want to protect everyone that I can hold in my hands. Shelter you from all of this... I remember now. This is why I wanted my perfect world. Where we can be together.

Not being psychotic doesn't mean I don't miss his face... his smells, his skin, his hair, his hand on my shoulder, my head, the way he always knew when I was upset... Knew, and enclosed me in a sphere of influence, like a drug... I miss security. I miss him.

Now all I have are pieces of memories, while I hold out small portions of my heart and watch them whither away.

I need reassurance. I need to know, without lies, without a facade, that... that my life matters. That my thoughts matter. That when my body screams in protest, someone hears me, and tries to do something for me.

Where can I go that you are still here?

Things are gonna get dicey. I expect I'll need to find a new job, or place security on a building that no one even uses anymore.

(Post a new comment)

	happi_hime 2008-03-07 11:15 pm UTC (link)
	You'll need a new job? What about ShinRa? It's not very ... martial ... and pretty humble ... but Alice's shop is always open, if you want there, Sasori. ♥ ~~You wouldn't like Ayame, so Miwako's not even going to suggest it...~~~ (Reply to this)(Thread)

	somes_auditus 2008-03-07 11:23 pm UTC (link)
	I'm going to expand my resume. Alice does not like me. I killed her once. I expect she had quite the deal, scrubbing the blood off her floors... (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	happi_hime 2008-03-08 02:32 am UTC (link)
	O! Really? Actually, I think you told me that before... Uhmmm~~ You could work at Ayame's shop, even if you probably wouldn't like him very much~ The clothes of that store are very unique, and maybe your designs would be appreciated! ♥ You could work with ShuRa... Or the cafe! You cook! Think they need help there, or at the bakery? ♥ (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	somes_auditus 2008-03-08 02:34 am UTC (link)
	I will not work at ShuRa, nor will I work with that living headache, Ayame. If worse comes to worse and nothing turns up, I can do a catering service to lower level residents. But I don't want to do that. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	happi_hime 2008-03-08 02:40 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, Miwako figured that Sasori would not like Ayame~~~ Heehe~ ♥ Do you know Watanuki~? ♥ He runs the Cafe. He's very nice, and he's not so flamboyant as Ayame, or other people~ ~~He's NORMAL!~~ Would you want to work there~? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	somes_auditus 2008-03-08 02:42 am UTC (link)
	I liked my job at ShinRa because it allowed me to support Suzaku without him having to work. I could get him all that he needed, within reason. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	happi_hime 2008-03-08 02:48 am UTC (link)
	I know that~ ♥ But now you want a new job somewhere else. So Miwako's just trying to help~ ♥ (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	somes_auditus 2008-03-08 03:01 am UTC (link)
	Preferably something that pays well and doesn't require me to do a lot, nor keeps me out in the elements. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	happi_hime 2008-03-08 03:03 am UTC (link)
	Cafe~? Are you good at math? You could work the cash registers. Or be a waiter. The things aren't served fresh, either, since it's a cafe, so I don't imagine you'd have to cook CONSTANTLY if you were a chef, right? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

	lin_koujo 2008-03-08 01:46 am UTC (link)
	I had been wondering the same thing. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	somes_auditus 2008-03-08 01:54 am UTC (link)
	Of course. You must support yourself and I must support my god. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	lin_koujo 2008-03-08 02:14 am UTC (link)
	You're...? ...Nevermind, not going to even ask. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	somes_auditus 2008-03-08 02:17 am UTC (link)
	Suzaku is my god. Had I known of him in my previous life, I would have been a much more religious person. Furthermore, I have evidence that he and I are meant to be together in whatever world possible. For this, I acknowledge that he is mine alone. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Lin has no words. XD HE's just wtfing over you. lin_koujo 2008-03-08 02:19 am UTC (link)
	........................ (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Sasori loves freaking him out XDD somes_auditus 2008-03-08 02:20 am UTC (link)
	Liiiiin~ You know I have a bracelet that blocks such thoughts from seriously forming as truth in my mind, right? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Yeah, he knows that by now, but somehow he always ends up doing it anyway. lin_koujo 2008-03-08 02:28 am UTC (link)
	No. I didn't. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Sasori says that's because Lin = one of Sasori's favorite toys. Near-style. somes_auditus 2008-03-08 02:32 am UTC (link)
	Oh. Well, I do. I asked for it several weeks ago when the medication I was taking after my surgery was conflicting with the sleep medication and anti-psychotics I was taking beforehand. Now I don't have to take anti-psychotics. That's a relief; they were expensive. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

	zacked 2008-03-08 11:34 pm UTC (link)
	You could always work with me~~ (Reply to this)(Thread)

	somes_auditus 2008-03-08 11:39 pm UTC (link)
	Where? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	zacked 2008-03-08 11:41 pm UTC (link)
	SOLDIER is its own company now. We're going to keep on fighting on our own. Mercenart work, that sort of thing. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	somes_auditus 2008-03-08 11:45 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, I see. And I suppose you need someone to do the cookie forms? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	zacked 2008-03-08 11:47 pm UTC (link)
	Well, that too. But defenses wouldn't hurt, either. I have a feeling we'll be going up against some tough opponents. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	somes_auditus 2008-03-08 11:49 pm UTC (link)
	Ah, I see. In that case, I will go with you. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	zacked 2008-03-08 11:50 pm UTC (link)
	... really?! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	somes_auditus 2008-03-08 11:51 pm UTC (link)
	Of course. I'd rather go with you that work at a place that sells stale cake. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

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